ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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