I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
