i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
