TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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