No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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