dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
