I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dick very happy bro
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
