i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
