I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
