i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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