Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
