We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
