I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
