I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I did not marry a roomba.
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