Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
