Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
