i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
