U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize