I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
