just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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