Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
