So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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