Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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