Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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