I am puke
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
