i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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