I have demons in me.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
