He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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