saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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