Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
