I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He felt like a one man threesome
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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