he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
