i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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