he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
