how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
