It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
