3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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