Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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