my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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