From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
