Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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