i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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