we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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