he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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