I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize