My nipple is on Facebook.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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