this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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