Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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