Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
