it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
