a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Boobs speak an international language.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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