I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
