3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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